Thursday, June 26, 2008

How to cope

This month of June was a total life changing for me. The last post i have created was all about me whining how boring and dull my life was. But now, I can't even have a day of total relaxation. I'm not whining again, in fact I'm happy and appreciative that my life right now is starting to have a purpose. I'm not anymore lost, I have priorities.
Not many people like being a teacher. But this is what I am right now. I remember as a child, I always play as a teacher to my imaginary students. I even have a class record. How funny was that? Well at least now I'm not bored. It's not as easy as the role playing I used to have with my ghost friends but since I love teaching, I enjoy the job a lot and there is a sense of fulfillment. I am not close to becoming an effective teacher so I strive towards the better me.

Monday, June 2, 2008

It's crazy but up until this week, the realization that I have finished school haven't sink to the thing inside my cranium. Yes, I have tried a couple of job huntings and applications and it did not work out for me. I was not totally open on my plans in the future up until now. Why you asked? Oh maybe just because my plan includes sleeping all day long, have soul searching until I decide I have had enough. And it's not something I am proud of. And guess what, my fake soul searching turned out to be depression building episode.
My family is just great. I haven't heard a single word pressuring me to work and earn my own income. And my ever supportive boo always have to pay the bills whenever we go out.
But lately I'm feeling jaded. The only thing that I anticipated everyday is to be with my sister and boo from their work. So that means I have no social life for about 20 hours in a day. I just got all tired of it, no other expectations, no adventures, less human interaction - it's all eating me up.
And I felt like I have completely morph into a useless being. I don't mean to offend anyone but domesticating myself have not gave me self satisfaction. And so I decided to have some reinventing. Makeover it is people. These changes would include my study habits, pulling myself up from bed on time schedule and lastly - identifying what I really want to have in life, the career I really want and will enjoy and knowing the basics in me. Funny enough, I don't even know my favorite color, food, oh food.